Friday, October 21, 2011

Married or Not.. You should read this. ❤ By: Sharing Media


【 Marriage 】
「When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes..

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.
— At least, in the eyes of our son — I’m a loving husband...

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.. ...」

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

勢在必行 - 陳勢安 & Bii

Monday, August 29, 2011

Quote of the day.. From Charmaine Lau's FB

Someone once asked the Dalai Lama, what surprises him the most? He replied:

“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

轉載: 嫁給我是你一生的賭注,我怎麼捨得讓你輸

兩個人每天面對面上班。她有時候會看著他走神兒。他有張好看而略微頹廢的臉,看得多了,他會注意到她,便總是沖著她笑。她低下頭,臉突然就紅了。很快,周圍的同事也窺測出她的心事來,頻繁開起他倆的玩笑。一來二去,他和她竟真成了戀人。

他們都到了結婚的年齡。那天一起吃飯的時候,她猶豫著,提到了婚事。當時他愣了一下,沒有作答,半天才囁嚅著說,只怕……只怕以後,你跟著我會吃苦。

"不怕的。"她小聲說。

他不再說話,輕輕歎了口氣,在她看來,他算是答應了。

回到家,她把兩人的事告訴父母,遭到強烈反對。父親和他們是一個單位的,對他的印象不好,一直就反對他們交往。理由是,他是不上進的男人,懶散,沒事業心,還跟外面社會上一些不務正業的年輕人來往,女人跟了他以後,以後絕對沒有好日子過。尤其現在,工廠效益每況愈下,有能力的人都自己出去單幹,而他還在流水線上混著,一個月只有幾百塊錢。這樣的男人,沒前途的。

不僅父母,當初開他們玩笑的同事中,和她關係走的近的,也反對她嫁他,理由和父母一樣,說這樣的男人喜歡可以,絕對不能當丈夫。

她卻鐵了心一般,不管誰勸,就是一句話:我就要跟他。

父母失望至極,母親沖她嚷:你這是拿自己的幸福做賭注!

她抬起頭,斬釘截鐵:就算是不幸福,就算會輸,我也認了。

所有人的阻止都無濟於事,24歲,她嫁他為妻。租了套小房子,從家裏搬了出去。這也似乎更證明了大家的猜測,他是她本命年的劫。

可事實卻出乎所有人的意料,結婚後的他像換了個人似的,分外刻苦努力起來。他先是離開半死不活的廠子,斷了外面那幫亂七八糟的朋友,去一家私企跑起業務。開始時沒底薪,他又是外行,不知道走了多少彎路,費了多少心思,總算艱難的在那家公司站住了腳。那一年,她看著他變得又黑又瘦,大夏天頂著太陽走在快被曬化的柏油馬路上,汗都顧不上擦。晚上幾乎沒有在10點之前回來過,一回家,倒在床上,衣服不脫就睡著了。

一年後,他的工作走上正軌,業務提成漸漸多了起來,而她卻下崗了。索性,他不讓她再出去工作了,安心呆在家裏,等著做母親。

孩子出生的時候,他做了業務經理,手裏有大把的客戶,還在業餘時間重新學了英語和日語。公司給他配了車,他們按揭買了新房,每個人都看見了他的大好前途。

這時的她,因為生孩子胖了許多,又總不出門,穿衣服隨意起來,和他站在一起,竟有種不相配的感覺。此時,當初替他擔憂過的人又開始有了新的擔憂,擔心長著一對桃花眼的男人,會在這個時候離她而去。這個年頭這樣的事,簡直就是數不勝數。

但這次,大家又看錯了他,在他人生和事業不斷攀升的日子裏,他愛她始終如一。那愛,不知比戀愛時扎實了多少倍,是貼心貼肺的呵護。從衣食住行的大事到心情喜好的小事,他面面俱到,從來沒有忽略過。從她坐月子起,每天晚上,都是他給她洗腳,這個習慣一直被他保留了下來。

他從來不隱瞞對她的感情,有時同時和朋友開玩笑說:什麼都換了,現在該換老婆了吧。他搖頭,認真的說:這輩子,就是她了。

她的幸福,讓所有人無話可說。其實當初她也不確定會擁有這樣的幸福,那時她只是愛這個男子,捨不得離開他。哪怕跟著他吃苦,像她說的,她認了。

那天晚上,他又給她洗腳,溫暖在水中,他一如既往,把她的腳握在掌心。她忽然笑著問:怎麼會對我這麼好?這個問題其實已經在她心裏存了很久,她甚至還想問:如何會在就婚後,變了一個人?只是覺得不妥,所以只問了這一句,半開玩笑的口吻。

他依舊蹲在她的面前,握著她的腳,抬起頭來,看了她片刻,然後認真的說:因為當初,你拿了自己一生的幸福做賭注,要跟著我,你是這個世界上唯一這樣信任我的人,我怎麼捨得讓你輸。

她看見,向來愛說愛笑的他,說完這句話,眼圈紅了。

作為男人,不能讓一個能把自己終身幸福都押在你身上的女人輸,因為你輸不起,愛你的那個女人更輸不起!!

Friday, July 22, 2011

At Mao's


After watching the firework at Docklands, we came Mao's!! And finally Chor lam is working. So busy here today...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Work, work!


Tuesday afternoon, after the lunch hour rush, the shop became quiet, manager has gone home, so there is a short blog entry=p

Location:Bourke St,Melbourne,Australia

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The 135th hour...

有幸福喜悅的感覺伴隨著的這幾天, 人增加了很多的勇氣與動力. 但是同樣的問題, 同樣的對話, 同樣的沒有結論, 又似一盆又一盆的冷水, 一次又一次的要給那股熱情降溫. 明知不該比較愛情與友情誰輕誰重, 因為相信想愛的人會互相體諒. 想要大方的成全, 但沒法忍受犧牲自我後的"孤獨"; 想要自私的要求, 又不願令她失去她那所謂的"快樂". 然而試著改進自身, 卻還感應不到理想的目標甚至方向.

於是東張西望, 上竄下跳, 繼續尋找"靈丹妙藥"...

Monday, January 3, 2011

Wellcome! 2011!

2nd day of the year, good thing happened to me already!!!
It seems like that I am having a new start, looking forward to it!!!
THANK YOU for your trust!!!
I will try my best to make it work.